Wrong Side of the Hill

This just in.....

2009-10-11T04:03:27Z

....ME!

Yeah....it's been a very long day kiddies and daddy is grumpy.

But, even better, is this:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8299079.stm

Go check it out. It's ok...I'll wait.

So....whatcha think? Can y'all hear old Fat Albert now, sayin', "...Well...what I really meant to say was.....umm...yeah"

And in the same vain vein.....It's my thought that the latest Nobel prize is really meant as a sort of Rohrschach (it is how Wikipedia spells it) using a blank page. Here's the thing. You get to imagine whatever you like. Now, because I'm sort of a realist, I don't see anything but a blank page...but, if you believe in fairies, kiddies, you can wish and wish and, whammo, an angel gets it's wings and Tink can fly again and life is good. (That was a variation of the "hope and change" theme that y'all were singin' to just recently.)

Yeah.

So...It's been a long, been a long, been a long day. I'm home alone, again....naturally. And Fra Ogood, my faithful family pooka is ready to play fetch...that's the game where I toss an empty beer can as far as I can throw, and he brings it back...only now it's full. It's a lovely game that we both seem to enjoy.

I'm into the 2nd season of "24" and having a very nice time of it, thank you very much. I've also got a copy of a new book by S.M. Stirling that I'm about half-way through. And, if nobody is around, I'll probably sing too. It's what you do when you're a half-assed Irishman in the land of the lost, left coast, fey fairy folk. Which is alot like whistling through a grave yard...it doesn't make it less spooky, but it does give you something productive to do. Know what I mean?

So..now, go to your window and lean out and yell, "I mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore". It won't make Obamunism go away, but you'll feel better for it in the morning. Trust me.

Now... go in peace. The mass is ended (Ita missa est)

I'm the Reverend Mr. Upton Ogood. Amen.

Just a quickie...

2009-10-08T04:12:57Z

....which is better than a no-ie.

So...here's the thing. I'm on the road again, sorta suddenly, which is a terrible thing to have happen if I weren't getting paid for it. I am getting paid, so that puts an entirely different spin on it, donchaknow. Capitalism. It's how we eat dinner!

Upshot, then, is that I didn't get on earlier today and won't at all tomorrow...and possibly not even Friday.

I hope that this crushing news is somewhat offset by the news that I'm being rediculously recompensed. See? Don't you feel better now?

Ok...told ya it was a quickie.

A dios

Upton

Tuesday's trauma report...

2009-10-06T17:17:09Z

....or how I spent my weekend.

Geez. It's been awhile since I blogged, so you'll understand if I'm not entirely back up to speed on how to do it. It's sorta like sex except without the training wheels. (What? Like you never used training wheels. ......never? Well....I guess I'm different that way. I have a phobia about falling off.)

So....what I didn't relate to you was my Saturday surprise. This was a thingy that I'd put off from Thursday....and there is where the story begins.

It was a dark and stormy night.

Ok...So PGE, my power company, came around to install a new meter. I got the knock on the door around 10am, which was lucky as I was on the verge of being naked and horizontal. When the fellow told me what he had in mind, I said, sure, just give me a minute to turn off all the electronics. See....what this involved, basically, was turning the power off for about 20 seconds and then, bingo, turn it back on. (The new meter would mean that no meter-reader need show up. That the meter would "phone in" my usage. Very cool. Very big brother.)

Anyhow, zip, zap. It's done. I press on to the pressing matter of pressing the pillows. Later that day, (and I mean by that, several beers into Survivor), Felashe pointed out that the clocks in the house were all off or needing resetting. Ahh...sorry babe, I forgot to mention that meter swap thing. My lady, interjecting, pointed out that the digital display on the stove is also not working. At all. That is to bad, of course, but as I'm slightly toasted due to those previously mentioned beers, I'm not about to screw around with it.

Fast forward, but at a leisurely pace, to Saturday when Felashe throws the verbal elbow and points out that the stove still isn't doing it's digital dance and, "oh, by the way", the oven doesn't work. At all.

Being the boy scout type that I am, I grab my voltage meter and screw drivers and start to trouble shoot the problem. (I keep some of my tools by my computer for those boy scout moments). Here's the thing: I have no digital readouts. I -have- stove top burners and they work. The burners have indication lights. They work. I have zero oven action. I -have- 220volts at the plug. I -have- 220 volts in the unit. I proceed further. I remove all the sheet metal on the back of the stove, to reveal the circuit boards and other whizz bang stuff. Rut-roh. No obvious reset button or breaker. I refer to the schematic. There is a clearly marked section that says "you are here" with red pointing arrow. The section is named "Screwed".

So....I had just (within the last 2 months) replaced an oven element. I am now having a problem that looks like I have to swap out either a circuit board or transformer. Either of which will require a service guy as my stove/oven repair skills are a little nonexistent. Or borderline virginal if you like. The question becomes, do I want to invest, seemingly, a couple hundred into fixing what seems to be a piece of crap appliance or replace it with a new piece of crap for only slightly more. I can have the new one the next day. I can have a repair man next week. Ding. Ding. Ding. We have a winner. New by a landslide. I put everything back together, plug it back into the wall, as we can still use the stove top burners, and break the news to Felashe. She hides her disappointment well by doing a happy dance and singing some ditty about shopping. I brace myself for what is to come (shopping with one's wife) with a fresh cup of reheated coffee and, just 'cause I'm anal that way, start screwing with the controls on the stove. (Um...Houston. About that problem. ..... Heh-heh. Seems like....) WTF? It's working? Unplugging it was the reset? How fucked up is that? What bizarre, braindead engineer came up with that for an idea?

Ok...so at least I saved four or five hundred on the deal, but still. Unplug it to reset it?

It is now Tuesday and I still am baffled.

Oh...and Felashe got the Monday night game right too....she had a perfect football weekend. That's not right either.

I'm still

Mr. Upton Ogood

Oh boy.

2009-10-05T17:38:47Z

(As in..."I read the news today...").

I guess it must be my caffeine levels. Everything seems to push me to the edge of pissed off. I'm trying to put it away, of course, by topping up with cups and cups and, of course, I'm stoking my nicotine levels just to make sure. But still....there is major weirdness in the papers these days.

I'm not going to pick at that Obama scab for you. I'm sure that, if you're not there now, you will be soon enough and that's a self-inflicted pain that you'll have to deal with on your own. Sorry. I also have an "I told ya so" sitting around waiting for you too.

Ok...just 'cause I can't help it, I read today that, because he "has too much on his plate" right now, our Dear Leader will put off dealing with gays in the military. So, when you start to wonder when will he deal with "Don't ask, don't tell", the answer is "don't know".

*******

Front page of the Chronicle: clear water is a danger to fish. It seems that after the eco-disaster of surface mining for gold, all that dirt and such, which was excavated by high-pressure-water-hose, has finally silted out or drifted out of the bay and it's water ways. Good news, right? Nope. It seems that the fishes need some of that silt for, I dunno, redecorating or something. Without it, they have low self-esteem or something. Whatever...it's not good for the fish. They're threatened. We've -GOT- to do something about it.

I'm not making this crap up.

*********

I was going to list, or comment on, all the idiocy in today's paper but I'm going to shine it all on. It'll just make me cranky and force me to blame it all on George Bush, and God knows, y'all seem to hate politics, so I'm going to cut you a break.

Just let me say this: there is a ton of weird and or stupid going on and it's no wonder that papers are going broke....and oh, by the way, the president wants to bail out print media. Propaganda anyone? Goebbels ring a bell? (No..you're thinking gerbils...not the same at all)

*******

Terrible weekend. Felashe went 14 and 0 for football picks. She was not shy about sharing her success. I dealt with my excellent 10 and 4 with restrained dignity, as was appropriate, in hopes that she'd get the idea. I'm sad to report that she didn't get it and fell into the trap of gleeful-self-congratulations with the attendant In-your-face-bozo taunts.

*******

It's a cool and a wee bit cloudy sort of day. Currently 55F with highs of 65-75 expected. I'm fully dressed with my fleece bathrobe on. Yeah....that cool. I suppose I ought to break down and close the windows, but some of that global warming might suddenly happen and I'd miss it if I did, so I guess I'll wait.

I bought gas for $2.99.9/gal the other day. First time for under $3 gas in awhile.

Otherwise....life is good.

Upton

There is no....

2009-10-03T23:27:00Z

...triple-A for bloggers.

I had said that I'd be back on Friday as the wheels had fallen completely off my blog-mobile. Well...no road side service for me. I'm still in that undefined land between over worked and too-much-time-on-my-hands. But it pays good.

I suppose this is one of those "It's the thought that counts" kind of things that are so much less appreciated since, if you've got your mouth all set for steak, you come to find cold cereal. Know what I mean? Yeah....if you're like me, you'd rather the steak.

So...if you've come with the attitude of "Where's the beef?", I can only admit to: beats the fuck out of me.

Still, I've been talking to you all for a long while. It's just been between my ears is all. I'll try to talk louder in future. I hope that that will help.

In other, equally unsatisfying news, I won the lottery.

Ok...not in "Dude! I'm freakin' rich!" won the lottery. More of "I bought a ticket that also was worth less after the drawing than before".

Buying a lottery ticket is a self imposed tax on the stupid. I volunteered. You're welcome. Just me doing my fair share.

Still, I was convinced that I had made a correct investment. I was positive that God had whispered "play it now, dummy", so I did. It seems that I was thhhiiiiissssss close to winning....except for the matter of the actual numbers. I did have a ticket that looked just like the one that actually was worth money. That's how close. No shit.

Yeah....it was victory for optimism over experience. That happens some times.

On the other hand, there is the story of the guy who has been praying for years to hit the lottery. One day, he is in church and decides to confront God. He loudly proclaims his faith and also his disappointment. He rants and rants away at God for failing to deliver on, what seems to him, the bargain. He's been faithful and generous to the poor and all the sacrifices he's made (and he lists them to the deity), finally to complain, "Why? Why? Why?" and God answers "You gotta buy a ticket first, dummy!".

So...yeah...I figured it was time for me, as my guaranteed reward, to buy one. I must have misread the fine print on that bargain between me and God. Or maybe....yeah..maybe it was just a test of my faith, for which I'll be rewarded next time. Yeah...that's the ticket.

I'm Upton.

I'm not mute.

I'm sorta back...I hope that it matters.

Havanice one.

Good news, bad news...

2009-09-29T16:52:41Z

....can, at least lately, for me, be described as some of each.

Sorry for the lack of posts. I've been out-and-about more than I love, but getting majorly paid for it which I am crazy.

That's it. The whole story.

Oh...and the weather....it's changing. After having mornings in the mid 50's and afternoons hitting 100, we now have mornings in the mid 50's and afternoons in the mid 70s. Good sleeping weather...if only we get a chance to sleep.

Other than that, life is good. Things are slowing down abit....although I'm on my way to Tiburon this afternoon and I've a minor trip on Wednesday as well. I expect that the wheels which had fallen off will be reattached by Friday. I hope that it matters to you.

See ya.

Upton

Trivial....

2009-09-14T18:14:15Z

...is the news of the day.

Did you know that aproximately 75% of all the lawyers in the world are in the U.S.?

Did you know that law schools graduate 50 lawyers for every 1 (one) engineers graduating?

I read in today's paper that the NCAA (college athletic group) suggested that all college athletes be tested for sickle cell anemia traits, after a young black man collapsed and died during a strenuous workout. His family sued because they believed that the school should have known that he had the trait, and therefore, was in danger of death. Now, with the suggested policy change, some ...wait for it... ok.. you guessed...lawyers are talking about suing because of the intrusive nature of DNA testing and the possible discriminatory affects this may have on black athletes.

Is it any wonder that, since Shakespeare's time, the obvious solution to all problems is: first, kill all lawyers. (I'm not suggesting you actually do this...just get a gun and protect yourself. How's that for community organizing?)

Speaking of guns....I saw a bumper sticker today: Palin/Nugent 2012. (Ted Nugent is the legendary rocker who is also an avid hunter and proponent of conservative causes). I thought it was funny.

I'm on the road a bit this week, so I'll be posting spottily. It's nothing personal. Honest.

BTW...anyone try either of those recipes? I'd love to have the feedback.

Speaking of recipes...I was talking to a guy about food (yeah..at sometime, when you get old, it goes from sex to food)..anyway... he mentioned his personal comfort food and I thought, wow, what a good idea for "guy food" ("guy food" being what guys will cook for themselves...your basic eat-over-the-sink kinds of things). His thought was this: One can of beef stew, poured into a casserole dish. One tube of biscuits, separated and layered over the stew. Following the instructions for baking the biscuits as to temperature and time, bake the casserole. He says that you're just baking the biscuits...the stew heats up. To me, that sounds great. Any other guys think so? Ladies...ask your guy. Lemme know.

Anyhow....life is good...creeping on in it's petty pace, to be sure.

Talk at you soon

Mr. Upton Ogood

Mystery solved!

2009-09-12T21:34:17Z

....or Upton has his foot on the pulse of the valley.

In other words, I had no clue. But, as I am a well connected man, I found the help I needed to solve the mystery of unharvested grapes in the fields. Wanna guess?

Ok..times up. My source tells me that the reason I still see so many fields still with grapes is that there is a ....wait for it...(drum roll).. a glut. An over abundance. Too much. Waaaay too much. As in I can't give this stuff away too much. Wow. Who knew? Ok...so most everyone one out there knew but I didn't, and according to me, that's all that matters.

So...bottom line...prices on wine -ought- to fall. This is an entirely good thing, unless your livelyhood depends on those prices, in which case the sky is falling. Welcome to capitalism. This is how it's supposed to work. Now, somebody who had no market for his product or who overpriced his product will suffer and go out of business. Those who priced their stuff correctly will continue to thrive. We, who consume such stuff, will benefit from this competition. Life is drunk AND good.

That is until our politicians decide to underwrite the losses and prop up the dopes who don't do good business thus perpetuating failure. Let's just see how this one plays out.

Anyhow...that's what I've got for you. I hope it suffices.

Upton

Bemoanin' loss....

2009-09-08T19:25:14Z

...in two part harmony.

Ok...so the last post was blatantly dumb. I do that sometimes, just to keep you on your toes.

I was slightly distracted. I had most of the kids wandering around, because of the long weekend, and kept on stopping to flip the screen to save their brains from the horror that dad blogs and, occasionally, associates with kinked out weirdos and other afflicted souls. (They know about my conversvative bent, my smoking and my caffeine and alcohol...that's pretty much a lot to deal with up front. Why scar them with the rest? Yeah...better to leave them with the remainder of the Cleaver experience is my thinking).

So...loss....and stupid....yeah...so back to the dead computer. It still has all my old bookmarks, which means my current, wimpy attempts at a blog-slog are poor, pitiful rambles in comparison to those legendary Iron-man-like treks that I did daily. If I am not visiting you, it's 'cause I can't find you the way I did before. On the other hand, I've made up an entirely new list of folks to visit, aside from some long time, long-term (as in burned-into-my-brain addresses), that I'm using as a substitute. No...I don't do 'em all every day. It wouldn't be right. But, one of these days, I'll be back up to speed and I'll terrorize everyone once again.

Still, there's a new thing going on: Bloggers that are locked to me...passworded. Um..if I can't get in, how can I ask for a password? Maybe the answer is obvious, but I'm blocked.

Then there are they by-the-wayside folks...those who have gone Kervorkian on me and fallen on their swords or whatever. Those who failed to hear the advice of the great Winnie, who said "Never give in", which is the same as "Never give up", but he was a yank who tried to speak Brit. Those confusions happen, if you see what I mean.

Just as an aside: I think Winston had a pookah of his own. Just a guess on my part. His was "black dog" too, so I wonder if Fra is the same one, or closely related. Fra doesn't say, and won't hint, so I don't know.

Ok...since you ask, Fra is fine. He's been in and out, although mostly out lately. He is, after all, just like a hero: he shows up unexpectedly.

What's new? Well...when you're into your seventh decade of life, not much. How could there be? Nothing new under the sun, as they say. Oh...sorry....yeah...the kids are fine...Felashe is also doing well. Her "ride" may need open heart surgery...which is not a good thing. The up side is that the credit card is not maxed, so we have an out.

Oh....here's a thing I've been meaning to share: A foodie two-fer.

Beans and Franks Casserole. and "Holy Jesus" Corn Bread (The nickname for the cornbread comes from the frequency of first response to it. No shit)

So...the casserole. Old recipe for people strapped for cash needing to feed 4-6. It calls for 6 franks, 4 slices of bacon and a large (family size) can of baked beans. Being over achievers, we do up the whole pound of bacon, a full package of franks but still use the one can of beans. (Mordred has described bacon as the "candy of meats"...we go through a lot of it).

Anyhow...cut the franks, length wise, in half. Cut each half into quarters. Fry the pieces until browned and textured. Fry the bacon (however much you decide to use). I prefer the bacon be a little "loose", but do it however suits you. Empty the can of beans into a casserole. Mix in about a T mustard and 1-2 T of catsup. Stir in the pieces of franks. Break the bacon into "bite size" pieces or layer the called for 4 slices on top. Since we use so much bacon, we just stir it all in together. Place into a 300-350 F oven until hot. (About 20 minutes uncovered plus 10-20 minutes uncovered).

We "fiddled" with the mustard/catsup to our tastes, so if it doesn't suit (or even seem like it might, feel free to get experimental). Also, you can sautee some onion and mix that in...or...hell...do whatever you think is right. It's only food.

Update: leave casserole uncovered. 350F for 30-40 minutes. (Cover for leftovers, when you get lucky enough to have 'em)

We had this on Saturday and fed 4, where 3 of us were sated and 1 was slightly disappointed over the quantity of 2nds. FYI.

Corn Bread.

This is and old family recipe from an old(ish) recipe book (I cannot tell a lie).

1 cup A.P. Flour                            1 cup whipping cream (we use half-n-half)
1 cup yellow cornmeal                    .25 cup vegetable oil
.25 cup sugar                                .25 cup honey
1 T baking powder                          2 eggs, beaten
.5 t salt

Heat oven to 400f. Mix all dry ingredients, stirring. Stir in all wet ingrediants until moistened. Pour batter into a greased 9" baking pan. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until a wooden pick comes out clean.

Update: For leftover cornbread...cut squares in half, midlength...butter then "fry" in medium low pan for a few minutes, turn....have with your morning coffee. Top with lots of cold, sweet butter. It's worth it...honest.

For me, I take a square cornbread piece, cut in half (through the middle), butter it then pour my beans or chilli on top. That's the way I like it (uh hunh unh hunh).

It's a pretty inexpensive meal and it comes out every time. Check it out.

Well...that's it for now. Check out the cornbread thing. It really is a "Holy Jesus" kind of good. You'll thank me. You're welcome, in advance.

Mr. Upton Ogood

I'm lookin' back ...

2009-09-06T19:54:07Z

...just a wee bit. It's not nostalgia, but rather a summation of things that have gone.

Amongst all the the-things-that-blew-up this summer, the sudden, and unprepared for, loss of my old machine was perhaps the worst. I lost all sorts of things on there that I haven't (as yet) been able to restore. Somewhere along the way, unbeknownst to me, Excite.com did somr weird crap and deleted years of old e-mails that I'd had there. It was partly my fault. I didn't visit it nearly as often as I should have, so maybe it was just purged as an abandoned account.

I know that there were family pictures and, to be sure, pics of that other sort and maybe I can find them elsewhere but I'm not sure. There are e-mails that are gone forever though. The ones that I'm thinkin' of are of the historical sort. You probably don't know it but Jane, of "Jane's Guide", started out as an e-mail newsletter. I think this was back in the mid '90s. I don't know why losing them is such a big deal...the links are totally out of date, but it was a link to a time that was important to me. (I just checked...she says she's been up since mid '97...FYI).

Ah well....such is life. We find, we lose. We press on. (And truth to tell, somewhere in there, we fuck up...but we rarely like to dwell on that aspect).

As a parent, I often remark that every kid has to learn that the stove is hot by touching it. The point being that it's only through experience that each child learns....that parental advice is only a litany that is referred to only rarely. This is also true for adults, or to be more accurate, this is a universal truth: something isn't learned until we've discovered it ourselves.

People tend to be self-involved, from infancy on. The have to learn to account for others, to make room for them and their needs, only because we fuck up and piss them off and, to get them back to continue to play marbles or whatever, we have to learn and rethink what is important.

Anyhow...I'm wandering way off topic...and I think I need to think it out again (thank you Fagin).

I'll talk at you later.

Upton

Hey kids! What time is it?

2009-09-03T17:28:55Z

...It's Howdy Doody time! It's Howdy Doody time. (sing along)

No? Ok...

When I was a kid, I got teased a lot about looking like old Howdy. It was my ears. They stuck out a bit. My dad told me, (in a moment of either brutal honesty, or two beers over the line of humor), that I looked like a cab coming down an alley, the wrong way with the doors open.

This factoid is of no importance, but I needed something to start today's post, so I give you what came to me.

I've been doing a lot of travel to Sonoma (the town as well as the county) and it's been interesting. As soon as I had noticed how many grape fields had been harvested, I'd come across several that weren't. It made me wonder who owned which fields and how that might be advantageous. I'm guessing (or speculating) that the un-harvested fields are owned by the folks who sell to generic or big label wineries. That way the extra weight per bushel of grapes turns into a real profit for the owners, where the small niche or chic vineyards have gone for quality over quantity. Does that make sense? I dunno. I'm just makin' stuff up to explain what I'm observing.

Life is good, here in Northern California. We had an election on Tuesday to fill my congressional seat. It still isn't filled, so we'll have a run off election shortly. This will be good. While everyone else has had a chance to bitch and moan at their representative, I've had to make do with grumping to y'all about politics. It's been frustrating. Y'all don't particularly care about my thoughts, and that's fair. It'll be nice to have a congressman(person) who will take it as his personal responsibility to ignore my thoughts, rather than rely on the kindness of strangers.

Anyway, after a few days of odd low, morning temperatures, we've had a short run of fairly warm days lately. I'd call it "Indian Summer" normally, since it is September, but we missed Summer-summer, so I'm confused on terminology. It's 78f at 10:22am just now with high 90's expected this afternoon. (It was over 100 last evening, while the day started in the low 50's, FWIW)

"Survivor" is coming back on the 17th, and plans are afoot to get the old crowd back for our weekly watchers party thing. There is one episode of "True Blood" left and that's too bad. I've gotten hooked on the stupid show. It isn't "The Wire" or "The Sopranos" or even "The Shield". It's what it is, and it seems, it's all that I've got.

I'm semi-back to a regular schedule, so I'm starting to get that comfort level back about being more regular here. Yeah...that's a two edged sword. Live with it.

Nothing else occurs to me to share, so I'll be on my devious way.

Oh...not that it matters, but you did know that "Dexter", as in dexterous, has it's root meaning "right handed", while "Sinister", has as it's root, the word that means "left handed". Just thought I'd enlighten. You're welcome.

Mr. Upton Ogood

I'm was so impressed....

2009-09-01T17:23:13Z

....with having spectacular sex on Sunday evening, that I forgot to tell you all about Monday.

My posting might have seemed a little distracted. If so, it was because (at least in part) because my coffee machine/source of life was broken. I got up at quarter 'til stupid only to find an "on" machine, but no rich, dark goodness. Being quick on my mental feet, I stared and hummed a bit. Then I switched it off, then on...waited a bit...felt the "burner" thingy....turned it off then on again and waited a bit more. I ultimately concluded that I was S.O.L. (shit out of luck) and brewed up a quick double of tea for my travel cup. It felt like I was transporting a tiny menstrual fairy inside my cup, trapped like a butterfly, with it's tampon string hanging out. Not the spiffy effect I really intended...first impressions being so important.

I stopped off at Felashe's work on my way back into town and dropped off a double handful of the ready to subsidized, or in my mind offer tribute to the caffeine god, to acquire a new machine. Being the sweet and amenable doll that she is...and also having a caffeine jones of her own, she complied. I even got change back.

The machine she got us has been put to use and my mind has ceased a wanderin' (hey, mr tamborine man...have a cup with me. I ain't kiddin' and I won't be goin' a wanderin'). It has also been dubbed "Mr. Cylon", for it's cyclpean single blue eye that you just know is going to start scanning the immediate area and will soon vocalize, "By your command!". All this and it pisses coffee too. God bless America and the Chinese industry that keeps it in motion.

There's a lot of opportunity for weirdness in my paper today. A "cougar" convention? Yeah...I know what a cougar is, but my first thought was a PETA sponsored thing. Then I went sideways and thought about if it was a celebration of old guys and young chickies and how that would play. Yeah. That'd be a nope, I'm thinkin'. Then there was an article about new home purchases via IRA's. ...and of course I thought, that's nice that the reformed bomb throwers are making amends. (Irish Republican Army? Geez, if I have to explain it, it takes away from the joke.)

I'm going to excise the previous two posts that were about Teddy. I'm feeling like I was a bit too specific about myself. But I still think badly of the old bastard. It's sort of funny though...the hero of the lefties, now the poster boy for "Obama-care"..."Let's pass it for Ted"....which to me is a rip-off of "Lets win one for the Gipper". It only figures though, that he'd be such an icon to Obama, now that Teddy really is a shovel readdy kind of thing.

Speakin' of oddities....The Brits are re-opening an investigation into the death of Brian Jones, the dead stoner Stones guy. I'm thinking that we could get the state of Massachusetts to re-open an investigation of Mary Jo, if we can prove she might have been a back-up singer to the Supremes or something. Whatcha think? No? Why? Just 'cause he was a self-destructive, drug chasing rock god-let who has been dead for 50 years? Why not her...she's been dead longer and was probably listening to music when the car hit the water. Alcohol was surely involved. A crime was clearly committed. Why not, says I, in my best Popeye voice. Oh...yeah. Camelot didn't have any traitorous scandals. And Bobby turning on LBJ to chase him out of the race really wasn't traitorous to the Dems....and Teddy turning on Carter wasn't another back stabbing. (Although in both of those cases, I can't say I'm unhappy with the end results...which is a truth-in-advertising-thingy for you).

Ok...so maybe the return to caffeine hasn't entirely made me the cheerful love of your life that we both expected. I guess I have a little residual cranky. I'll overload the nicotine thing and try again tomorrow (I still keep tryin' to spell that with two 'm's...character flaw I guess).

Oh...did I mention, I had glorious monkey sex on Sunday? We're still smiling at each other...it was that good. No shit.

Mr Upton Ogood

ps...if you know the story, and Jewish tradition, involved in the story of Onan...tell me: is a vasectomy Onanism? A weird thought that occured on my ride home today.

Episode 6:...or Felashe gets off ....

2009-08-31T17:27:09Z

...and takes me along for the ride.

No...I'm not bragging, just relating the facts. You're welcome.

Here it is another bright, shiney Monday morning in sunny Northern California, the ass end of summer and so, of course, it's overcast and cold. It's 10:12am and my weather bug says it's 59f. I'm in my comfy bathrobe, fully dressed beneath, as I type this good news. On my way home this morning, I noticed another field being harvested so I guess there are still lots of grapes out there to be picked. Maybe they're running low on un-documented tourists or something. I dunno.

For those of you who care, check out "My first mister", with Leelee Sobieski and Albert Brooks (directed by Christine Lahti). It is an off-beat but lovely story about an unconvential relationship between a 17 year old, death obsessed, goth-like young lady and a 49 year old haberdasher who is single. Any 'blurb' on this flick will make it sound dull or weird, but trust me, it's a sweet and funny movie. Give it a shot.

We also watched "Music and lyrics". I may be mellowing into a feminized old man: I seem to be overly fond, lately, of "chick-flicks". Ok, so sue me. I love this movie. I've got two tunes running in my mind's sound track just to keep me company. If you want a nice, romantic funny movie, you'd not go wrong with this jewel. Nearly as good as "Sleepless".

I've been ploughing through books lately. Lots of fun stuff, but nothing I feel like passing on because nothing really was outstanding. Or so I deem it to be.

The aircraft that was my personal finances continued to nose dive into the earth, but then suddenly....the wings tore off! But that was a good thing! I finally got some control, the propeller was still chugging way....I leveled off, the tail dropped and I slipped into helicopter mode...sort of. I'm now hovering. No lateral control, but at least that crash thing is now in abeyance or Nevada or somewhere.

Many of my current fears are unnamed. This is because all the good ones are taken. I'll get back to you on this once I get some new, snazzy names. Fair 'nuff?

That's all I've got for you this morning. Life is good, bed is better and sleeping is great when it's this cool. I'm gonna take a nap.

A Dios,

Mr. Upton Ogood

Heartache and heartburn....

2009-08-29T21:59:23Z

....can be had from the dumbest things.

*(9/3 Sections have been edited out because I'm a pussy)

He got his final mass funerialized (? did I just coin a word?) at *that church. It's almost like he was saying, from the grave, "See, Upton? Even in death, I can still torment you!". Ah geez. He really is doin' it too.

Visions of the little girl down the street who stepped up and took on the challenge of not only trashing my priestly vocation (with the introduction to the wonders of an erection) but who also introduced me to the experience of having heartbreak and dashed hopes all at once. She still haunts, as you can see.

My feelings about Teddy are of the "Jane Fonda" variety....total and visceral. (Just thought I'd throw that in there in case y'all hadn't been payin' attention).

Ah well. At least some of that is over now. I've got at least this satisfaction: that old mover and shaker is no longer moving or shaking. I can live with that.

And advice to you, by way of the poet: No man is an island. Every man's death diminishes me. I figure Teddy's death is a kind of sudden weight loss, so it's cool.

In other news: It's 3pm on a sunny Saturday and my weather bug tells me it's exactly 100f. Summer finally showed up for a visit. I'm ready for it to leave now. Thank you very much.

In my travels, I have noted that the grape harvests are well underway. It's early, it seems to me, this year. The unusual cool summer may (and I stress -may-) presage a dandy, perhaps exceptional vintage. Stay tuned. Film at 11.

See ya!

Upton

Right here, in Rivercity...

2009-08-27T17:38:13Z

...we got trouble.

Yah, yah...who ain't got a whole, heapin' helpin' of it these days.

Life is good, but sometimes that doesn't feel like enough. Know what I mean?

I'm going through another one of those schedule change things where everything is out of sync and, trust me, I don't do well with this sort of thing.

My budget is broken. And that, honestly, is nearly the least of my troubles.

But, you know what? This too shall pass.

I'm still on the hill, slogging away.

I might want to ask for more, but I can honestly say that I don't need much else.

Count your blessings. You're probably overlooking something. Ok..now recount. Was I on that list? See! I told ya so.
*(9/3...the following paragraph was edited, which might make it less sensical than you'd hope)
As an aside: They're going to bury Old Teddy out of the cathedral that was *important to me, long ago for reasons that I can't get into. It was nice to see the church mentioned in a West coast paper along with the news that we won't have that old bastard kickin' us around anymore. Your mileage might vary, but if it does then you've not been paying attention.

I have to take a nap.

Upton

I should have done this sooner....

2009-08-23T08:29:03Z

Wisdom...

2009-08-21T04:12:19Z

...from a book, tells me this:

Menander, a playwright of Greece, around 4 BCE, wrote:

"If you want to live your life free from pain, you must either be a god or a corpse"

I don't know about you, but that seems right to me.

There was a bit more, that I read, about failure just being the lack of success....which made me think that success is =ALWAYS= an active thing. Inactive is =ALWAYS= failure. Y'all with me on this? ("if you don't -try-, you'll never succeed"?)

Yeah....I'm in one of those sorts of moods.

I'll visit again....or you can join me in the lotus position on my mountain....Mount Ogood, where wisdom is dispensed as a side order with 'fries.

You're welcome

Upton Ogood

"God is great. ....

2009-08-20T05:41:33Z

......Beer is good.

People are crazy."

Lyrics from a Country song that I heard yesterday. Is it any wonder that I figure that Country music is a true voice of a (segment) people: the American sort.

That is all.

Oh...and life is good.

Or to put another way:

"Be most excellent to each other...
And..
Party on! Dude"

Go. The mass has ended... "Ita missa est"

*Upton Ogood

*your write-in candidate for pope....that German isn't lookin' all that hot these days

The days dwindle down...

2009-08-16T22:41:15Z

....to a precious few.

Ah, me. It's tough touring, on the wrong side of the hill. Pot-holes and obstacles ....and it's all down and gravity fed.

It's that time of year again. The Ogood family circus went on tour. "Relay for Life" was the venue. Lots of busy goin' on. Much fun was had, although no record was set this year for funds raised. That was a little disappointing. Still...fun was had. Time was killed. Y'll get the drift.

We're gonna put the wandering nephew back on a plane tonight and return him to the land of baked beans, at the "Hub" of the universe. Mucho groceries was consumed by the wee lad. It was a surprise to have a growing boy in the house. We'd forgotten the "Godzilla in Tokyo" affect a male has on comestibles. We haven't bought that much milk in some time. Ah well...whatcha gonna do.

That's it for now. Too many feet walking around for me to continue.

Later

Ok...where was I?

Um....let's see....this was the summer of replacements. I replaced a computer, a dvd player and an oven element. Semi-large, unexpected expenditures. This was not a fun thing. I'm still not entirely back to my old bookmark list. And all my really dirty pictures are still locked up in my old hard drive. Yeah....easy-peasy to pop it out and slap it in, but as you already know, old Mr. Ogood is not terribly reliable about the actual doing of stuff, lazy old fuck that he is.

The new school year approaches and I'm back (retro?) to having 3 in school and in residence. Hercules Ogood, however, is on the cusp of getting his bachelor's and possibly on the verge of losing his bachelorhood. This is a fifty - fifty kind of thing....the degree is a good thing. The jury is still out on the other. Personally, I hope he waits. I don't think he's ready for it. But then again, he's already 2 years older than I was when I got married for the first time and started having babies. And, if he has anything like my fertility, we're all very grateful that he hasn't started already. After all, procreation doesn't require a wedding or a license.

Um....this is all going sideways. I had a plan when I first sat down but now, after that interruption, I've lost my focus. I have lots to talk about but right now doesn't seem like it's working for me. So I'll, once again, bail out and hope that the 'chute opens.

Until next time, America....

Upton

In Sunday's papers....

2009-08-10T21:47:50Z

..... Felashe found a story that she read to me. It seems that a guy, in jail somewhere, was hiding a pistol in his rolls of fat. He'd had it for awhile I guess and it only came to light when he was showering and it slipped out onto the floor.

That's pretty much a case of "The pencil test" for guys I guess.

I don't know why a guy would think he'd need a gun to protect himself if he was that fat. Who is going to rape him if he's in that kind of shape?

Summer has come with a vengeance, finally, to sunny Northern California. My weather bug says that it's 95f at 2:40pm. And very still. No breeze at all.

Felashe has the crowd at an amusement park today, so I'm on my own. ("....alone again. Naturally.")

We had a damn fine time yesterday. We sat eleven at the table and most everything got eaten. A high point of the table talk was Hercules and Mordred singing "Afternoon delight" with harmony. Very cool. After dinner and desert, when everything was cleaned up almost everyone, save for myself and Felashe and our oldest friend, went out to see "GI-Joe". Also a very cool thing.....that they went as a crowd.

I have a couple of days of work this week and that's a good thing. It looks like I'll be getting more regular hours pretty quick and that is also a very good thing. I hope that it doesn't interfere with my posting.

"Astroturf mob"? Artificial grassroots movement? Nancy Pelosi can kiss my royal Irish ass.

Otherwise, go in peace.

Mr. Upton Ogood

Awright...

2009-08-09T21:50:26Z

...so the truth of the matter was somewhat different. I just thought that my version was funnier than the truth.

So...what really happened was that we found ourselves alone. The prospect of having -anyone- home was hours away.

We had a light snack of...well..it doesn't matter. I wandered off...showered and then we proceeded to lie down and just be together. It was lovely, tender and we connected in ways that had been lacking. We had time.

No salacious details, but a very good time was had by all. So good, in fact, that it was needful for me to medicate with Tylenol to head off a strained back. And I didn't mind a bit.

By the way...the movie, "August Rush", which I really, really liked has, as a supporting although central, character played by Robin Williams. As a heavy. An updated "Fagin" if you like. He really does set a certain mood for the movie and, I think, were it not for him, it might have been a considerably lesser film. Check it out.

I'm doing a, to me, new Neal Gaimon story. "Neverwhere". I'm liking it.

We have the cousin in, the girls are back from their travels, Hercules and Mordred are coming too. We've got the eldest, un-named, coming with a pal and we've got our oldest friend as well. All for Sunday dinner. A houseful. I love it. London broil, roasted potatoes, corn, beets and French bread (which I'm baking even as we speak). Several bottles of wine in the fridge, ice cream and chocolate cake to finish. The police might get called.

Remember...it's never a party until somebody cries.

Have a nice day....I'm havin' one. It's near 3pm and it's 91f. Summer has shown up again in yet another example of climate change or what I like to call weather.

Cya

Mr. Upton Ogood

Friday night...

2009-08-09T01:42:58Z

...without the kids. Wahoo!

I discovered a new and exciting way to prolong sex!!! (that's right. three exclamations.)

I had what can only be described as a nearly two hour sexual experience. You can too.

At about 5pm, after a light snack, I sent Felashe down the hall with the instructions to "get started". I continued to read my book.

At about 6:45pm, I totally disrobed and sauntered, as I am want to do, down the hall to join her.

At 6:47pm I entered the bedroom and, from the sounds and scents, I knew where we were at. The room had the smell of sex and it was entrancing. (It also had an odor that made me think I should check to see if the potato salad had gone over). From the gentle sussurations (such that the walls vibrated), I knew that my little lady had done finished and was now asleep.

At 6:48 I laid myself down next to her.

At 6:51 I reached for my old sock on the floor to clean up with.

And there you have it. Nearly two hours of sexual excitement. Or how old people fuck. Not well and not often.

Upton

Attenuate....

2009-08-06T23:11:26Z

...is a word that just popped into my mind, without reference to anything. Just the word. Weird.

And, now, the news:

I saw "August Rush" the other night. Very nice, sweet movie. Great music. Kaki King is marvelous. Check it out.

I watched "The Lives of Others" last night. An excellent movie. It's 1984 in East Germany. A playwright and his lover are investigated by state security (Stasi). There home is bugged. The lead investigator becomes "altered" by the experience. Don't let the sub-tittles put you off. A very nice film.

It's the 6th of August in sunny Northern California. It's 4:00pm and it's a brutal 73f outside. Global warming. Aren't you glad we have concerned folks and politicians ready to step up and invest billions of dollars to buy back poorly maintained cars so that people can buy new cars that they won't maintain either and we can all live in a less lethal environment. And it'll save the planet too. But, if all that is true, then why is it such a cold summer? Maybe we ought to be running MORE poorly maintained cars and warming us all back to where we need to be?

Oh..yeah...and Fat Albert invented the internet too, so he must be a friggin' genius.

Do I have to really explain all this or are y'all startin' to get it. Wake up!

<sorry for that....I stepped away from the keyboard and some guy just slipped into my chair when I wasn't lookin'. He didn't seem too happy or I'd have tried to chase him off>

I'm reading a fairly large-ish book called "Sarum". It's about stonehenge. It has a sort of Mitchener feel to it. It also has an occasional dry spot where it verges on tedious detail only to suck me right back in with some snazzy story telling. I'll let you know how it turns out.

If you've got a minute, go check out the Sage...his post from yesterday is dandy. In fact, check him out everyday. He's very good. (Ok....maybe it -is- a man crush....I dunno)

That's it for now. Oh...concatenation....that's another dandy word with no point in the post.

I remarked to "subtle" that if you are what you eat, then I must be a pussy. Q.E.D. It seemed sane at that particular moment.

Later

Upton

Funny what you hear...

2009-08-04T21:59:34Z

...when you aren't even listening.

R. Kipling wrote:

"If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss"

That's from his essential-to-every-young-man poem "If".

I read, in my stupid-people story, a variation on it. To paraphrase:

"If you're going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance"

That from "Terminal Freeze", by Lincoln Child.

I need to kick that one around a bit, but there is something there...barely seen that rings true. Or at least it does to me.

Stay tuned. Film at 11.

I've decided that retirement is going to lead to either a party or starvation. Why? I just can't seem to get motivated to cook for an empty house. I'm always ready to jump all over a meal when someone(s) is/are coming. It's easy to cook for a bunch. It's a bother to cook for myself. So, I figure that I'll either have a house full of folks or starve. Make sense? Well...it does to me.

I did a google on Sir Richard Burton, the explorer, and, in the process, was reminded of how much fun Philip Jose Farmer is, as a writer. A clever and, occasionally, naughty sci-fi guy. You have to understand that Sci-fi, as a genre, was fairly puritanical. It still is, for the most part. Farmer made it less so and, on occasion, tip-toed over the line of holy-fuck! I can't recall the exact title, but he had Tarzan accidently butt-fucking his nemesis during a wrestling fight. Trust me....that is not your standard puritanical sci-fi.

Anyhow...that's my melange for the day. I hope you didn't get any on you.

Mr. Upton Ogood

So.....

2009-08-03T23:55:40Z

...where was I?

I forget.

But, I did read a clever observation, which I now paraphrase as I can't remember it exactly, which goes (approximately) like this: The only cures for ignorance are time and experience. Something like that.

I'm reading a semi-entertaining, summer-read-ish book, that if it were made into a movie would, undoubtedly, go direct to video or, in the old days, be labeled a "B"- flick. It's in the genre of, what I call, stupid-people stories. This one is a cross between "The Thing" and, well....not a cross...maybe a cross-polinized thing. It has a bit of eco-global warming-tree hugging going on to make it current, I guess. It also involves those previously mentioned "stupid people". These are the folks who, even when you scream "Don't do it!", ALWAYS go upstairs where the monster/murderer/bad guys/whatever are. Even when it's obvious that that character is -NEXT-, they still go upstairs. So...here I am, reading about a reanimated carrot-creature (ok...so that was "The Thing", but you get the drift) and folks are running around looking for a murderer when, in reality (suspended disbelief), there is a huge monster-from-the-past out and about scarfing up on people who are looking down for footprints when they should be looking up for huge, towering, slathering, beclawed bearers of really bad news. Of course, the true fun in this kind of story is to see how the author finally motivates the bookish, pacifist ex-green-beret to come to everyone's rescue and fall in love at the end. Know what I mean? Yeah. I knew that you did.

Anyhow, it's called "Terminal Freeze" by Lincoln Child and it's fun and not terribly challenging and just right for a summer's read. (This is the kind of book that I wouldn't mind if you read it in the bath..a rare sort of book that I would never save to re-read or even offer to a friend. A guilty pleasure, like masturbation, that I have but don't like to admit to.)

Speaking of guilty pleasure, I defeated the evil neighbor and his plot to fuck-with-me-via-construction by getting out of bed before 8:30 today. He was despondant and, I intuit, put off further jack-hammering for the entire day. My other neighbors, I assume, are passing the hat to put votive candles on my front porch.

I took a shot at re-watching "Generation Kill". I guess it was too soon or maybe it just wasn't that good. Either way, I came up empty on it. I've got "August RUsh" to do tonight. Everyone here but I have seen it. I understand it's a nice, sweet movie. I'll let you know.

Anyone got any ideas for episodic TV for me? I've done "The Shield", which was cool, and I'm all up to date on the current stuff. Dramas though... no comedy. That's what life is for.

Any movie ideas? That'd be good too.

I've got more on my mind, but too many bodies done dropped in....cramps my creativity, doncha know.

I'm Upton...and you're not.